Something to nibble on

Dearest Fans,

Since you obviously hunger for more writing; I've decided to upload a Yan Kisen archive just for you! Without further adieu, I now present you with my first masterpiece published by the McGill Daily...

Porno glam: Darryl Gold gets it on at the SAT

On Saturday night, I was sent to Darryl’s Hard Liquor and Porn Film Fest at the SAT in an attempt to sex up The Daily. Inside of the dimly lit exhibition hall were all the ingredients of a deliciously naughty party. Euro-electro was blasting, the booze was flowing, and folks were dressed to impress. The suggested attire was “porn star casual,” so the predominant male get-up was genuine leather pants accented with a cowboy hat, while the women posed as dominatrices and schoolgirls, or simply wore lingerie. Unfortunately, only about 30 people made the effort to dress up (or down), while the other 300 guests had left their latex hanging in the closet. Gauging the audience’s enthusiasm by the rowdiness of their applause, Darryl personally awarded the two best dressed attendees a gift bag full of assorted lubes, condoms and, to top it all off, a bong.

This cinema festival consisted of 20 titillating shorts all parodying pornography and celebrating the joy of sex. They were all pretty damn funny, and a few were a little disturbing. The filmmakers are adult entertainment enthusiasts from around the world. Furthermore, some of the pieces used animation and two were filmed with cutting edge 3D picture technology.

One piece, called Sex Toy Stories delivered exactly what the title promised. It was a compilation of hilarious confessions of the pleasures and mishaps associated with dildos, sex swings, and for one unlucky guy… his cell phone.

Vibrato Saves the Space Queens was the only video submitted by Montreal artists. Using his powers of gyration, Vibrato tries to save the damsels from an eternal game of ultra-sexy space Twister hosted by a crazed megalomaniac hell-bent on seeing some, ahem, girl on girl action. The short was an amusing creation which more or less embodied the spirit of the event.

The party also featured the new 69 Hour Film Challenge, in which teams were given a list of elements that needed to be included in their production. These included a beach ball, something that vibrates, somebody tied up, and toast.

During the intermission, I got a chance to have a chat with the legend himself, Darryl Gold. He took me back seven years to his apartment in Toronto where the event first started. Being a long-time pornography fan, Darryl had invited his friends over for a porn star party. Guests were encouraged to bring their favourite porn classics (mine include My Baby Got Back and Different Strokes – despite the fact that Gary Coleman does not make a cameo). When one friend decided to bring his homemade video, the film fest was born!

I have always been enticed by the allure of sexy parties. There's just something special about a social gathering where you know that nobody will judge your clown fetish. For those of you expecting a hardcore strip show, I suggest one of the many adult clubs on St. Catherine, because Darryl’s Hard Liquor and Porn Film Fest did not altogether deliver on its sultry title. For others who can keep it in their pants, this show provides an amusing night fusing humour and sex. Hopefully, as this event gains momentum, people will show more enthusiasm – and possibly a little more skin.